NERAKA MAHAL, SURGA MURAH...

Loket ke neraka penuh sesak...
Banyak manusia antri...
Rebut rebutan, cakar-cakaran...
takut gak kebagian kursi...


Tiket ke neraka mahal...
Harus merogoh kantong berjuta-juta...
Untuk dapat ikut berjalan kesana...

Maksiat itu mahal...
Judi itu mahal...
Zina itu mahal...
Korupsi itu mahal...
Dusta itu mahal...
Tetap orang-orang berbondong menuju neraka...

Jalan ke syurga sunyi...
Sepiii...
Jalannya lebar, mulus dan bersih...
Tiketnya murah, tak perlu keluar uang banyak...
Loketnya bersih, ada AC, pelayannya ramah...

Tapi mengapa amat sedikit yang antri di loket ini???
Puasa itu murah...
Sholat itu murah...
Sedekah itu murah...
Senyum itu murah...
Jujur itu murah...

Ternyata Nafsu telah memutar balik semua tatapan...
Yang buruk terlihat indah...
Yang baik terlihat sukar...

Ditempat ini aku baru sadar...
Bahwa jalan ke syurga sepi...
Jalan ke neraka ramai...

Mungkin...

Mungkin kah Saat Ini Ku memang HArus bertahan dengan HAL yg selama ini Terus ku Pertahan kan...
Mungkin kah Ku Harus membuang JAuh semua Pikiran dan Hal" yg Berhubungan Dngan KEINGINANA SAia...
Munggkin kah Ku Harus MEMENDAM lagi PERASAAN ini Sampai Smua na Mungkin Untuk D Ucapkan...
MUNGKIN...

Apakah Selama Ini Saia Sdah Berada D Keadaan Yg Benar...
D Jalan Yg Benar Untuk Mendapatkan DYA...
Apakah Ha Yg Selama Ini Saia Pertahan kan Dan Saia Perjuankan Merupakan Hal Yg Sia" Belaka Untuk Saia BUat Menjadi Sebuah Kenyataan...
Atau Kah Hal ini Merupakan Hal Yg Seharusnya Tidak Saia" Impikan Untuk Jadi Sebuah Kenyataan...

Terus Saia Mencoba Tuk Menemukan Jalan Yg Terbaik...
Agar Smua na Menjadi Lebih baik Bagi Saia Dan Bagi DYA...
Terus Berpikir Tanpa Tujuan yg Pasti...


Hmmm...
Apa kah Sulit untuk berkata Jujur ???
Apa kah Dengan Memendam Perasaan ini Keadaan kan menjadi Lebih Baik...
Mungkin kah Keadaan kan Menjadi Lebih Berarti Bagi DYA...

Atau...
Mungkin kah Saia MAsih Belum Bisa Menjadi Sesuat Bagi DiriNYA...
Mungkinkah Saia MAsih Menjadi Sebuah Kerikil d Dalam Hati Dan Pikiran na Yg Luas...
Hmmm...

Her Smile...

Her Smile IS Like A Medicine That Cure Every Illness That I Have...
Her Smile Is Like A Candle Light That Shine Me In MY Darkness n' Emptiness...
Her Smile Is Like The Water That Flow In My Dry land In My Heart...

Her Smile That I Miss From Her...
Her Smile That Makes Me Feel So Calm n' Peacefull...
Her Smile That Everything For Me...

BUT

Can I ALWAYS See Her Smile ???
Can I ALWAYS In Her Side To See Her Smile ???
Can I Be Someone That Can Share The Happiness n' Sadness With Her Always ???

I REALLY CAN LOSE HER SMILE

December, 6th 2009...
At 0.10 AM...

I Just Feel So Tired at That Time...
But my Eyes Can't Close To Sleep...
While I Try To Makes my Eyes Sleepy, I share my Story to my Friend, Ory...

I Tell A Lot About My Feeling To One Girl that I Admire...
We Spend A Lot Of Time...
Discuss About My Problem...
She Gave me A Lot Of advice for Me...
(thank Ory for Ur Help n' Advice)
But, Still I Can't Make any Answer for My Problem...
At 1.15 AM...
Ory Go to Sleep, but still I Can't Sleep...
Still Looking The Best Answer for This...

At 2.30 AM...
My Eyes start to Sleepy...
I Try To Sleep at that Time...
I Sleep In Front of the TV...

In My Sleep...
I Feel that I Met Her in One Place that I Know, but I Didn't Remember Where...
However In Real or In Dream , She Always look Sweet n' Gorgeos...
We Are So Closed...
We are Talk each other, Laughing Together...
So Wonderfull...
But, Sadly It's Just In A Dream World...
Huff...


Can I Feel The Same Like In My Dream ???
-hopefull-

December 4th, 2009...
Friday, At Ka Hafiz House...
In a Rainny Day...


4.45 Pm...
I arrived in There...
A Lot Of My Fren come in There...
I Try To Search Her In There...
But I Couldn't Find Her...
The First thing That cross in My Mind Is "Maybe Coz Of Rain, She Came late"...

At 5.30 PM...
I Try To Find Her Again...
But, again I Can't Find Her...
One of My Friend Ask me "knp nech tiiit blom datang ???, kda umpat kah tiiit nech"
I say I don't Know...
N' He Say Again " Hub. Punk tiiit !!!"...
After That I Try to Call Her, But She Didn't Answer my Call...
Huff...


In A Minute, She Came With Her Friends...
" Alhamdullillah "...
Like Usuall, She Look Gorgeos Wearing Brown Jilbab...
Makes Her Look Sweet...
Hehehe...


In There She Look Like Everyday I Met Her...
So Cheerful...
So Happy...
So Energetic...
She Makes Me feel Happy At That Time...

The Begining...

I Don't Know When The Story I Will start to Tell...
I Really Don't Know where I Must Start It...


I Never Think Before about this Feeling, When It's Begin, Why It Can Happen...
Huff...


Maybe This Feeling Start When Her n' I have a Job in 1 Division...
At That Time we are Start to Closed...
We start to talk each other...
Think together...
I didn't have anyfeeling at that time...


In one Time...
When I n' Her Become my tiiit in Kongres HMA...
This Feeling become More Stronger that Before...
I Feel that She Is become more Sweet that Before...
Everytime I saw her Face, Her Atitude n' Her Smile...
It's Makes Me Feel Calm, Peacefull n' Happy...
Her Sweet Smile, Dissapear my Problem for a While...
Hehehe


After The Kongres HMA finish...
It's Makes Me n' Her more Closed...
We Study Together...
We Doing Homework Together...
We Eat Together...
(even with our friends too)

Wow...
Kamis 3 Desember 2009...

It's The First Time...
I Tell the Thing That make Me Confused To Someone That Can I Trust...
I Belive Her...
I Tell Her About My Feeling To Her Friend...
Share Experience With Her...



In This Day Too...
I Look *tiiit* So Wonderfull...
She Wear A Brown Shirt...
Look More Beutiful In A Brown Jilbab,that Closed Her Sweet Face...

Wow...
Her Smile So Sweet...
Her Smile makes My Problem Gone From My Brain...
Makes My Fly In The Dreams World...
" Wonderful Today "


But...
Can I Makes Her Belive n' Love Me ???
Or Can I Just Admire Her In My Lifetime ???
Huff...
I Don't Want Lost Her Sweet Smile...